And I am back! Hope everyone had a great labor day weekend. As promised on Friday, I am making this post all about the stupid/ignorant/annoying questions I have gotten from those few I have told.
Most of these questions come from my mother. She is aware that I am trans. She was the person I told when I was younger, she was the person I told when it resurfaced, and she is still the only person in my life right now, that knows. My husband is of the belief that I was just being crazy when I told him, and that I am perfectly fine and not at all experiencing dysphoria. Some questions, or rather accusations, will be from him too.
Alright here we go:
"But you like heterosexual sex, so how can you think you are a man?"
This one was almost funny to me. Almost. I almost laughed. Instead I educated my dear mother. I have what I have as far as physical things go. I wish it was different, but it isn't. I have a vagina, and sex with my husband, and past boyfriends, does/did feel good. Sex with my ex girlfriend felt good. Would I prefer to have a penis and be on the opposite end of all of that? You're damn right I would! But I am currently not, so I make do with what I have.
"You like men. Are you going to be a gay man?"
Yep, really happened. I am bisexual, so my gender change won't affect my sexuality. I have heard that some men that start T suddenly start finding another gender (out of their norm) more attractive, and that may happen with me. I prefer men, always have, but I am still bisexual. If I am lucky enough to ever have a relationship (assuming my husband dumps me), it would most likely be considered a homosexual relationship, and I am fine with that.
"Are you going to take it up the butt?"
Number one, this is a very personal question. I don't see how it is anyone's business what I would do in the bedroom with another man. I informed her that no, I will not. I have never liked that kind of thing. My answer led to our next question though. As I told her I would be the giver.
"But how? You won't feel anything if you use a strap on."
There are prosthetic penises that have pleasure kits, and from what I have heard, they work really well and feel really good. So yeah, I will feel something. Even without that though, there are some people in the world (myself included) that receive pleasure from giving it.
"You like girly things."
Which I don't actually. Very few "girly" things are on my hobbies list. I play video games, I write stories, I play with my dog, I draw, I create graphics. All of that is pretty gender neutral. I love music. It is my soul. Again, neutral. I am not big on cooking, I am not crafty at all, I hate the color pink, I don't do make up or dressing up. You know what I do that is considered girly? I paint my finger nails. I will still paint my nails after I transition. Why? Because I don't believe that painting your nails is a gender exclusive thing. It is for both genders.
"You used to love make up and wearing dresses."
Yep, when I was six to around eight, I loved dresses. How does that determine anything with my life now? Like everything else in my life, I changed. I haven't worn a dress since I got married in 2009. Before that, I wore a dress to my sisters graduation ceremony in 2002. Before that, I was probably eight. I don't like dresses or skirts. I did do the make up thing for quite a while. I dropped out of the habit of always wearing it when I was around fifteen, right about the time my dysphoria started. Now I only wear it on special occasions because I feel I have to. I never was big on caking it on. I wore lipstick and eyeliner. Nothing special.
"It is just a phase."
Yep, a phase that has been with me for twelve years. Even longer if we decide to count the time when I was twelve years old and fooled a girl into "dating" me on-line where she thought I was a guy. It felt so good to be considered a guy. I might have known what was going on then if I had known about being trans, but I didn't know then.
"You're just trying to be special and get attention."
Negative attention? Because that is the kind of attention I will get. My husband fully believes this. Since I came out as bisexual on my Facebook, and got a very positive response, he believes I am doing this for attention. That is ridiculous. I am so scared of coming out when I have to. I have a lot of positive and LGBT accepting people on my "girl" Facebook. That doesn't mean they will accept it, or understand it. Trans people are highly unaccepted and misunderstood by the vast majority. The idea of having any of my friends walk out of my life, scares the hell out of me.
That is all of the questions I can think of/remember right now.
A quick update on me:
I have been in touch with a gender therapist, and they take my insurance. My next obstacle is trying to figure out how to see them without my husband finding out. Oh the joys. I am off to do my daily exercise. Gotta lose some weight before I can start my transition properly. We will talk about weight loss and getting healthy on my next post.
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