Activism

Internet!

Been a little while, but I am back again. It is pretty amazing how much better my life is going. I don't feel the need to write as much because of it. Writing is so very therapeutic, and lately I just haven't needed it. I don't need it right now, but I also know I have at least a few people reading this blog. People that might be interested in hearing what is going on with my life lately. So here I am to give some updates, and also to talk about some pretty exciting things I am trying to get in place. Life is full of ideas, it is just getting them to bloom that is the problem.

So Trump became President-Elect of America. This has shaken up the LGBT community, as can be imagined. It shook me to my very core. I won't lie, I cried when I read the news on Wednesday morning. I tossed and turned all night, and kept telling myself that when I woke, Hillary Clinton would be president. That wasn't the case though. My son cried when he was told the news. Even at almost seven years old, he knew that it wasn't a good thing. I was scared. I still am, but I was more afraid that morning. I immediately thought about going back into the closet. I thought life would just be easier if I put on my cis face and ignored what I was. I had done it before, I could surely do it again.

Then I got on Facebook, and I saw the panic. I saw so much fear. I saw people so afraid that they were contemplating suicide, and some actually did complete that contemplation. It was too much. I refused to give into my fear. I decided to fight. I wrote a short bit about it, about my own fear, the fear of the community and gave a rallying call for people to not give into that fear. I submitted the article to FTM Magazine. I went to my therapy appointment the next morning with a renewed sense of pride. I am a trans man, and am fucking happy to be who I am! Trump isn't going to put me back in the closet.

The problem is though, that he is going to try. People are scared. I want to help them. I have this need to help, to protect, to fight. It is like a fire that has been lit inside and it isn't going out. I don't know how to become an advocate. I don't know how to get my words heard, but I am trying. My first step was creating a Facebook page. Trent the Transman was born. A public figure, no real face to show, but one to stand up for the LGBT community against hatred and bigotry. I have vowed, to myself, to fight against it all. The page is my first step, but it isn't my last.

I have a meeting with the leader of LTA, or Louisiana Trans Advocates on Monday. I am going to be talking to her to figure out what all I can do on a local scale. I want to help people here especially. I know there are transgender people in this city, I know their are gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in this city. I know there are people in minorities that are scared, that need a voice to protect them, and Trent the Transman is that voice!

I am going to create a second blog, one that is specifically for my activism and will be sharing what I write on the FB page. Some of what I have written here will be my first post on that blog. It is time that I be heard, that the trans community be heard. I am not afraid of who I am. I was for a longtime, but that fear has gone.

I came out on FB on Wednesday. Several of my friends had announced their vote for Trump, and it shook me. How could a friend of mine vote for him? Then I realized something. I wasn't out to most of them. The one friend that I told I was trans to, and still voted for Trump, had hurt me of course, but her words floated back to me. Only days before the election she was asking me about my transition. She said to me that she accepted me, but that it was hard to believe someone she knew was trans. Trans people were people she would hear about in the media, or something another distant friend of hers knew, it was never someone she knew personally. That lit another fire in me.

The fire to make everyone in my life realize the reality. They knew a trans person. They were friends, family, acquaintances, with a trans man. So I came out. I put my face out there, told them all who I was. No one has unfriended me, so I feel that not everyone has seen it yet. I am awaiting my mother telling my grandmother so I can change my Facebook name. Then everyone will know. As they should too. I wanted my coming out to be silent, but then Trump changed everything. I WILL NOT BE SILENT.

In less dramatic news, my article that I wrote and gave to FTM Magazine, is being published. I got the news on Thursday. I will link it here on my blog once it is up.

I think I am good now for the day. Time to go and set up my other blog.

See ya later internet!

All the Changes

Lots has happened internet!

The husband and I had a major break through. He has accepted that I am going to do this. He wants to remain friends, possibly roommates in the future. We've had a few ups and downs since this revelation, but for the most part, things have been really great. He isn't happy about it of course, but he is accepting that he can't change it. That is definitely a step in the right direction.

I talked to my therapist on Monday about getting on T. Since I am overweight and need help losing it, or rather, need motivation to start trying, we came up with a plan. It was my idea, and she agreed. Once I lose fifty pounds, she will give me my letter for T. I have been working on since Monday. Lost three pounds already. Probably come off pretty quick in the beginning, and slowly taper off. I am thinking March or April and I will be getting my letter. I am very excited about that. I still don't have a doctor though. All of the doctors I called aren't taking on new patients until January. So I will be calling again around that time. I am nervous around getting on though. They are going to have to know about me being trans, and I am worried about discrimination. I also have to find an endocrinologist that will take my insurance, and not be a biased asshole.

Sadly the only one I have seen that is being referred to by the trans community here, doesn't take my insurance.

Oh and the trans community! I am going to my first support group meeting on Sunday. They meet once a month, the first Sunday of every month. I can't wait. I talked to the president of the local branch for over an hour. She was really great. Very funny, gave me great advice, and told me about the meetings.

I found an on-line medical fund thing by Point of Pride. They select two people every year and donate money to go towards those two people's gender surgeries. I am applying for it this year. It was recommended that I get a letter from my therapist, and she sent it to me today. She called me by my new name, and gave me the full diagnosis of gender dysphoria. It was really great.

On top of that, my husband bought me my first STP (stand to pee device). I nearly died. He just bought it, knowing I wanted one, and even put my new name down for who it was being delivered too. That was really huge! He even hinted at getting me one of the really nice prosthetic from FreeToM when he has the money. I don't know what happened there, but it means so much to me that he is getting on board. It means so much to me that he still wants me in his life, even just as friends.

That's all I have for now. Sorry it took me so long to update, I've been lazy.